I came out of the movie BOSS BABY feeling happy, refreshed and like a brand new person.
Because I slept through most of it.
I waited until the set up was complete and Alec Baldwin gets to say his classic line “Cookies are for closers” (referencing his memorable performance in the 1992 Al Pacino movie Glengarry Glen Ross) and then I was out like the proverbial house lights. In truth, it wasn’t even completely the movie’s fault. Those cinema seats are so damn comfortable!
Conspiring also to bring about this comatose state (if it had of occurred during the new POWER RANGERS movie – like BOSS BABY also currently labouring under the weight of poor to scathing reviews – I could have at least enjoyed the jounce of calling it a ‘power nap’) was the fact I maintain I was also purposefully lulled into a state of droopy eyelids prior to the movie even beginning.
The before-show included all of nineteen ads. That’s 19! (as in the average age of the combat soldier during the Vietnam war). What’s even more amazing than that figure is the fact that I bothered to count them. Who does that right? Well, it seems I’ve become one person who does, especially when I wasn’t looking forward to the main feature in the first place. Actually the ad count exercise commenced from what I estimated was number 10. I totalled at the end. And that’s not even mentioning the four full length ‘coming soon’ movie trailers plus the reminder to turn mobile phones off.
Still, my seven-year old daughter enjoyed it and I got to see the best trailer I’ve ever had the privilege of watching for a kids film – CARS 3 (Pixar’s 18th animated feature film). Then again, come to think of it, the trailer for BOSS BABY looked pretty enticing as well.
Next time I venture out to a juniors movie it had better be to see a sure-fire hit.
Will somebody please bring on FROZEN 2!
3 thoughts on “Slept like a baby”
You have posed a number of important questions in this timely missive. Clearly things are bad when we find ourselves counting the ads before the main feature. It is almost as if you knew in advance the main feature would disappoint. The prophetic gifting is clear. Is it now time to gather a following, predict the end of the world, and then meet on a beach in perhaps Nudgee to wait for it to arrive?
I’m watching this space. 🙂
The last couple of kids’ movies I’ve been to see, which I recall being SING and before that INSIDE OUT, I got in on free passes. This one, for a family of three, with snacks and parking, added up costing over $100. That works out about a $1 per minute of sleep!
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