A few days back I did something I haven’t done in a long time.
I bought a new car.
Last time that happened was in 2006. Back then John Howard was still Prime Minister of Australia.
The step up from what we had to what we’ve now got isn’t maybe as dramatic as the top photo would have you believe. But that’s definitely how it feels. The images below tell the real story of the switcheroo that’s taken place.
It’s only a small exaggeration to say that going from our trusty ‘ol Honda Jazz with its dinky gearbox to the blinding high-tech majesty of the Mazda CX5 feels like time-surfing the Stone Age to the Space Age literally overnight.
I know I’ve been hidden away living in a (man) cave, technology wise, these last twelve years – but holy pimpin’ rear spoilers how things have changed! Try and suppress your laughter when I say a keyless engine start and a press-button hand brake are definitely new rides at the Fairground for me.
Here I go then with what’s gonna sound like a really average car-salesman impersonation (I’ve talked the talk with more than a few of these characters over the last few weeks so I should be able to do this) as I list some of the features that, as far as bells and whistles go, put this car, at least to my mind, on a par with the International Space Station (bear in mind the hands typing these words haven’t owned a mobile phone since late last century so I’m maybe a little more easily impressed than your average new car buyer) –
- radar lane-departure sensors
- separate air-con controls for front and rear seats
- moisture sensing wipers
- dark-activated headlights
- ultrasonic wave technology rear sensor connected to reversing camera
- electronically warmed seats for winter time
- voice-responsive built-in GPS
- fuel-economy automatic engine deactivation at red-light stops
- wall to wall interior noise dampeners ensuring the ride is somehow eerily smooth and silent
- blind spot computerised monitoring alert
- **ejector seat
It took our sales guy (Nalin) fully 45 minutes to explain the car’s ‘Instrument Cluster Display’ and safety features. I was sitting quietly and nodding like a member of parliament all the while. I think it might be a whole day seminar with complimentary buffet lunch provided for folk in the luxury car market.
What does the International Space Station (launched in 1998) and the Mazda CX5 (2018) have in common? Quite a lot as it turns out.
As to what type of advanced kryptonite lies under the hood, let’s just say the two hobbled Shetland ponies that powered the 2006 model Honda Jazz have been replaced with what feels like a veritable stable of Winx-calibre thoroughbreds.
Driving the new car the 18km home from the Toowong showroom felt for all the world like transporting a new-born home from the hospital. Displaying all the finesse and confidence of a nervous kitten, I’m pretty sure I came close to holding my breath the entire way.
After Nalin connected my wife’s mobile phone via Bluetooth to the car’s dash-screen, on our nerve-jangling journey home we took, with a mixture of giddy excitement and hesitation, our very first in-car speaker phone call. I think I’ll always remember that call. Those overseas telemarketers sure don’t waste anytime!
Now that our new best friend is safe and sound at home on our driveway, we can begin attending to the really important things, like trying to decide on the right word association to remember our new number plate – 051 YFR.
The 051 part is easy ’cause that’s my current age. But the letters have prompted a little more thought. So far the SWS staff writers have come up with the following possibly pretty lame memory prompts –
YOURS FOR REAL
YEARN FOR RUBIES
YELLOW FUCHIA RED
YOGHURT FRUIT FIGS
YUMMY FROGS FEET
YEARLY FOREST RAIN
Understandably the plate I’d prefer to see on the vehicle looks more like this –
but artistry to that degree costs in the vicinity of $2500 from Personalised Plates Queensland (CHECK HERE). Unfortunately for the time being, the budget is now saying ‘No’ to all non-essential items.
Ps. Now I’ve decided to officially join the 21st century, it’s amazing the things one can begin to take an interest in that were previously off the menu. The very next night after buying the car, I watched the quiz program MILLIONAIRE HOT SEAT when this question popped up –
Which technology system uses in its logo two ancient Norse symbols ?
A. Wi-Fi
B. USB
C. Blue Tooth
D. iCloud
Pss. FYI, the colour of the MAZDA MX-5 we bought is known as ‘Eternal Blue’. Just thought you should know that.
Psss. ** Joking about the ejector seat.
Scenic Writer's Shack 
Congrats Glen. Enjoy your new car!
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Thankyou for the nice thought Anon but ‘enjoy’ is too light a word!
I have fallen head-over-nikes in love with this nifty little ‘eternal blue’ people mover and the endorphin rush shows no signs of slowing down yet.
Do you know it’s been a dream of mine for some years now to play the song ‘DRIVING SATISFACTION’ by Grace Jones while motoring along in a car I can really enjoy riding in (I’ve never been what anyone would be able to call a car ‘enthusist’).
And allow me to say here as soon as I transfer the song to USB (probably tomorrow) that’s exactly what I’m gonna do!
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Congratulations on your new Mazda Glen. As you know I love mine. Did you take advantage of the free food at Toowong.
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Taking advantage is what I do.
We had some free drinks from the non-smiling lady behind the counter (she was the only person in the busy showroom who WASN’T on high-beam in the smiles department) and no doubt will be enjoying the hospitality whenever we take it in for a service.
Could you remind me again Sue of the Mazda model you have?
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Our car is a Mazda 3 . Will eventually give it to Matt as his first car.
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Keep it in the family.
That’s the Mazda way!
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Love that description of “high beam” smiles Glen. That is a classic. 🙂
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I know something that is even more classic than that description.
That’s you calling that description a classic.
That’s true classic.
That’s classic classic.
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Your new MAZDA sounds wonderful Glen – I have a Mazda which I love (only a baby compared to yours) and I”m sure you’ll be very happy with this super model.
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The Mazda CX range goes right up to the CX-9 so our CX-5 is by no means top of the range.
Still, it will definitely do us.
Zoom Zoom!
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Congratulations Glen, Just like having a new baby in the family. Can’t wait for a lift when we next have a coffee together. Happy motoring, Bryan ps Your first picture of the Beverly Hillbillies made me smile.pps Australia exported more cars than Japan in the early sixties!
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Thankyou Bryan.
This one’s for you…
(The Clampett’s truck in this clip, which I have rather rudely compared our previously-owned 2006 model Honda Jazz to, was a 1921 Oldsmobile Model 37. Gosh-gee I can be mean when I want to!)
As a kid I always used to confuse the BEVERLY HILLBILLIES (1962 – 1971/ 274 episodes) with another rural themed comedy GREEN ACRES (1965 – 1971/ 170 episodes). In the name of journalistic balance, here’s that opening as well –
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Zoom-zoom, indeed! 😀 … what a wonderful new toy! … love the A/C seats. New cars in Canada come with optional heated seats.
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In Canada I reckon the warmed seats function would be a must have.
My first experience of the ‘toasty bottom’ was travelling on Winter Tokyo trains in the early 2000’s.
Thanks for your nice thoughts Widd.
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I have to confess to being a serious fan of the heated seats too Glen in our now 2 years old Kia Sportage. It is not that often I get to use them, but wow do I know it when I need it. 🙂
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Congrats Glen, Mazda owes you something extra for sharing the car features with potential prospects, I am one of them. Enjoy the rides.
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Thankyou Kokou.
I did contact Mazda to tip them off about the blog post so hopefully the ladies in the office got a bit of a giggle out of it.
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Nice car Glen! You will certainly have a step up!
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And I am well and truly ready for that step up!
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I too am thrilled for you Glen with this new addition to the family – a bouncing baby Mazda! Who would have thought you would consider an addition to the family at 51!?
The only thing to raise my eyebrow was your reference to joining the 21st Century. I will dare to suggest when I see you with a smartphone you will then have truly arrived. 🙂
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Me and a smartphone?
That would be taking things too far and obliterating my inner 1960’s era hippie completely!
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We like SO MANY of the same movies, it’s actually scary! And a lot that I’m sure many people don’t even know exist–Run, Lola, Run. Wolf Creek. Oh, PS: nice Mazda too.
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I’ve never met anyone before who came even close to sharing the same taste in movies as myself. This then, is truly a zen moment and a most refreshing revelation. I feel a little less alone in the world!
I inturn notice we subscribe to quite a few of the same blogs, so throw that into the mix as well.
Thanks massively for reading this post. There’s not many things that come close to the satisfaction I get from being held in the bowl of someone’s mind for a brief few minutes.
I’m thinking that tingly alive feeling that comes when someone else focuses on our written words is another thing we maybe have in common.
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